Couldn’t’ve Wouldn’t’ve, Shouldn’t’ve’u?

English is a diversified language. Perhaps not as structured as German or Russian, or as melodic as French or Italian (unless you come from Al’Bama). It is not even the most spoken language in the world - though, considering the amount of celluloid dumped on the world market, Hollywood execs would like to think so (Chinese is). So it is always amusing to see how other countries try their best to make films in English - if they have a command of it or not.

High up on my all-time favorite “English“ language country is India. It is hard to beat India when it comes to misusing the English language. Not because they make films in English. They do not. But they so strive to be cosmopolitan and intersperse English phrases and words into their dialogues and music. Reminds me of what Falco could have done if he had written Bollywood films. A much used - and therefore fav - word in Bollywood is “wicked“. I don’t know about you but I think the whole “wicked“ subculture died in the aftermath of Eddy Grant. But Bollywood is alive and well using “wicked“ in almost every modern song and dialogue when they all strike poses around totally modern kitchens (that do not exist outside the kitchen studio where you buy it, and definitely not in Mumbai) looking serious, sexy and rich. Then they often say something in English followed by some Hindi words for complete sentences. For example: “point“. As in, you have a point there. But Hrithik just looks deep in to Aishwarya’s eyes and says “point“. She nods, understanding all. A typical Bollywood script could read: “What you say, soniya?“ / “Keh do na, once more“ / (glances left and right) “Point“ / “Wicked“ (fade to song).

On the other hand, European countries stick to what they do best and that is in their own language. Although, I just watched the German hit Parfum / Perfume in English after numerous German sittings. The film was indeed shot in English and those actors who speak both re-dubbed for the German language version. Alan Rickman, Dustin Hoffman and the rest went into normal German dubbing. Anyway, they used a very strange English accent throughout the whole film. Seeing that action takes place in France, no one was remotely speaking French, or even French accented English (like in The Man in the Iron Mask). Instead we had Mr. Hoffman doing a comic dodgy European-type accent that was supposed to that of an Italian living in France acting in a English film. Bizarre.

I do believe Americans are best, though, at dealing with their language. Regardless of Deep South or East Coast, the intricacies of the spoken word often reach new heights when America gets their hands on something. Exactly, what kind of a word is “shouldn’t’ve’u“? “Should you have not gone to the store“ turns into “shouldn’t’ve’u gone?“. Now that’s a pretty wild word. You won’t hear Helen Mirren slurring that and I bet Ralf Möller couldn’t say it if his life depended on it. You need that special adeptness of language skills to slur four words into one - and then position the apostrophes correctly! Downright wicked, I say.

Cheers, ciao and good on ya.

(Spanish)
¿Couldn't've Wouldn't've, Shouldn't've'u?
El inglés es una lengua diversificada. Quizás no como tan alemán o
ruso estructurado, o tan melódico como francés o italiano (a menos
que usted viene de Al’Bama). No es uniforme la lengua hablada
del mundo - sin embargo, en vista de la cantidad de celuloide
descargada en el mercado mundial, los execs de Hollywood quisieran
pensar así que (el chino es). Se está divirtiendo tan siempre para
ver cómo otros países intentan su mejor para hacer las películas en
inglés - si tienen un comando de él o no. Colmo para arriba en mi
favorito absoluto “English“ el país de la lengua es la
India. Es duro batir la India cuando viene a emplear mal la lengua
inglesa. No porque hacen las películas en inglés. No . Pero se
esfuerzan tan ser cosmopolitas y entremezclar frases y palabras
inglesas en sus diálogos y música. Me recuerda qué Falco habría
podido hacer si él había escrito las películas de Bollywood. - y
por lo tanto fav - una palabra mucho usada en Bollywood es
“wicked“. I don’t sabe sobre usted pero mí piensa
el “wicked“ entero; el subcultivo murió en las
consecuencias del remolino Grant. Pero Bollywood es
“wicked“ que usa vivo y bien; en casi cada canción moderna
y diálogo cuando ellos que toda la huelga se presenta alrededor de
las cocinas totalmente modernas (que no existe fuera del estudio de la
cocina en donde usted la compra, y definitivamente no i

(French)
Couldn't've Wouldn't've, Shouldn't've'u ?
L'anglais est une langue diversifiée. Peut-être pas en tant qu'aussi
allemand ou russe structuré, ou aussi mélodique que français ou
italien (à moins que vous venez d'Al’Bama). Il n'est pas même
la langue la plus parlée au monde - cependant, vu la quantité de
celluloïde vidée sur le marché mondial, les execs de Hollywood
voudraient penser ainsi (le Chinois est). Ainsi il amuse toujours pour
voir comment d'autres pays essayent leur meilleur pour faire des films
en anglais - s'ils ont une commande d'elle ou pas. Haute vers le haut
sur mon favori absolu “English“ ; le pays de langue est
l'Inde. Il est difficile de battre l'Inde quand il vient à abuser de
l'anglais. Pas parce qu'ils font des films en anglais. Ils pas . Mais
ils tâchent ainsi d'être cosmopolites et d'entremêler des
expressions et des mots anglais dans leurs dialogues et musique. Me
rappelle quel Falco pourrait avoir fait s'il avait écrit des films de
Bollywood. - et donc fav - un mot beaucoup utilisé dans Bollywood est
“wicked“ ;. I don’t savent vous mais moi pensent le
“wicked“ entier ; la culture secondaire est morte au
lendemain du remous Grant. Mais Bollywood est “wicked“
employant vivant et bon ; dans presque chaque chanson moderne et
dialogue quand ils que toute la grève pose autour des cuisines
totalement modernes (qui n'existent pas en dehors du studio de cuisine
où vous l'achetez, et certainement pas I